Everyone deserves love

As we approach Valentine’s Day, I think a lot about what makes a loving relationship and what is a truly romantic gesture toward someone you love.

You can’t walk into a store this time of year without confronting red cardboard heart boxes loaded with candy, heart-shaped balloons, bouquets of flowers, and glittery greeting cards.

Lovely but impersonal

And although I would smile if any man bestowed any of those on me (except for the balloons, which I consider an environmental hazard), I don’t really consider those things to be a romantic gift. Nope, they’re completely generic. One size fits all.

Yep, the most romantic gift I’ve ever received.

To me, a romantic gift is one that is uniquely intended for a single, specific recipient. The most romantic gift I ever received in my life was a set of tools. To a lot of women, that will sound crazy. But to me, this metal box filled with hammers and wrenches and screwdrivers meant that the guy truly knew me. He knew I was a fixer of things. He knew I was not frilly or fluffy. And he knew that I needed some good tools. He appreciated me for who I truly was, and he gave a gift designed for me, not for some generic woman.

I try to put truly personal romantic gestures in the books I write, too. In SHAKEN, Jake the insurance investigator notices that nursery owner Elisa Langston tends to tie back her lovely hair with twine or paperclips, so he gives her a beautiful antique hair clip. In UNDERCURRENTS, the third mystery in my Summer Westin series (coming April 2, 2013), FBI Agent Chase gives Sam a lovely painting of a mountain lion that memorializes their first meeting (something not many couples would share).

Generic gifts are great for family members that you want to please, but only a personal gift is truly romantic. What is the most romantic gift you ever received?